Unofficial Graduation

21st April 2005

It was considered unofficial graduation as we have not gotten our final results yet but it was the last day of school already. A class photo was taken, but it was not a full one as many of the classmates were late and the radiation therapy guys girls were not around as they still have a last paper the next day on Friday. So, it was quite pathetic. I took photos with many of our classmates. The weather was bloody hot and I refused to change out of my ¾ pants and tee shirt. They required us to be dressed in our semi-formal wear with the lab coat on. Nah. I simply rolled up my pants and wore my lab coat, hence I would look like I was wearing a skirt! To the amusement of my classmates and lecturers who were present, I looked like a ‘flasher’! Hah!

Posted several photos below.

I still had a FYP presentation in the late afternoon at 3+ pm. That’s why I did not want to change into my formal wear as well. It’s a long-sleeved white shirt and a black. I would perspire in it and then soil it! Well, not many stayed behind for the presentation. And it was 3 groups which presented. Sucker, the bloody course manager was not even there to witness our final product which we have spent 1 entire year to complete! :p Anyway, our presentation went extremely well, I must say, judging from the attention we managed to capture from everyone present and the positive comments from the lecturers after the whole thing. Amarjit quipped, “I like the ‘RIBS’ logo very much.� Vijya said, “You all have done a very good job, in that u have captured everyone’s attention with your video and whole program design.� I was ecstatic! So were some of my team members, I must say! ;) We were soooo PROUD of ourselves, in that various of them actually went to master editing skills for the video and also Macromedia Flash for the design of the whole program, unlike some other group which collaborated with School of Digital Media Design to edit and construct the entire program for them!!! Yes, one group in the class actually teamed up with students from this school who are well-versed in the art of animation to literally DO THE ENTIRE FYP! Thus, the project would be considered as the FYP for the students of digital media design as well. What a sucker, ain’t it? Basically, this whole FYP thingy is just a biased and unfair treatment towards certain groups in the class which the lecturers dislike. Of course, the group that collaborated with the other school got outstanding comments after the presentation from the f**king course manager himself who said that such collaborations should be encouraged in future projects and that they have done a very good job and that he’s impressed blah blah blah… What the?!?!?! He did not allow several other groups to do so last year but only this group!! And my group’s project is actually very, very IT-based. We just got to learn everything from scratch ourselves!

Looking back after the entire project, I felt so glad and happy to be in this group for my FYP. There were definitely ups and downs and disagreements along the way. Sure, this clique of mine, as I have told some close friends, are always so slow in doing things! But they were sure slow and steady. Last-minute at many times, but always produces wonderful results! And I am prone to last-minute things at times too! By the way, we were so last-minute for our FYP that we did not even rehearse for it! All of us were only preparing our slides and what we wanna say during the few hours before the presentation and updating the Powerpoint slides and report and then printing out the report and slides just minutes before the 1st group went up to present! We were the 2nd group, u see. Hah! But in all, the presentation turned out well and under an hour! So proud of ourselves!

As I surveyed the class, guess there’s no other group that I would rather be in as well. Though I’m not as active with this clique as the others are cuz I would be swimming alone myself after school and not join them for shopping, or skipping school for some reasons, or hurrying home right after school, or simply cuz we are in different groupings in the class list(im in group2 while the 5 of them in group1), there’s no other group that I would join already. This group of dearies are always so tolerant towards others, and they have certainly been taken advantage by an idiot in class who worked with them on the Sociology/Psychology project. They have certainly been very understanding towards my independence at times too. Basically, I loved them. Guess it might have taken me a bit too long to realize this. Gonna miss them. Despite our differences, we have managed to make it thru the 3 years with bumps and scratches here and there, especially for the FYP. However, I really miss the process of going thru the FYP with them now. It’s always the process that’s so enriching and the final results are but secondary. With the final product well above our expectations, I’m even more prideful of ourselves.

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
---James Thurber

My FYP gang! N/B:I was in the 3/4 pants! 

Us with ZhenZhen 

A blur but very elated picture of us right after the presentation! 

Our proud mini model of the Radiological Information Booth System 

Dinner at Junction 8 Cafe Cartel after FYP! 

Dance With My Father by Luther Vandross

A very touching and meaningful song which I long wanted to add the lyrics onto my blog. Heard it in Bintan with my group of kakis and promised my friend that I would send her the lyrics. So here it is, posted it on my blog also! Finally!

Some background info on the song and album: "DANCE WITH MY FATHER won the 2004 Grammy Award for Best R&B Album. "Dance With My Father" won for Song Of The Year and for Best Male R&B Vocal Performance. The song was also nominated for Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals and for Best R&B Song. "The Closer I Get To You" won for Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals."
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Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

It's holiday time!

Exams are over. My FYP is over as well. After one year of process, the FYP went smoothly last Thursday, 28th April. Since then, it has been a busy and rather tiring weekend as I was still trying to recover from the lack of sleep and mental fatigue from the exam period. So ever since last Thursday, I have been going out every single day. Really feel rather tired. Hope to actually rest at home and just while my time away one of these days... To recuperate. Just like what they always said, "To rest is to enable a longer journey ahead." How true.

This is not going to be a long blog, thou I do have much to say. Cuz im making my way down to Bedok to meet some classmates to go to Bintan! We are going to take a bus down to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal and then take the speedboat from there to Bintan for 3 days, 2 nights. Will be back on mainland on Wed night, 27th April. Quite looking forward to the trip although my mind is still quite mentally drained from these past few days of activities. The stretch of beach we are going to is going to be a quiet place... Hope to get some good rest there and then come back with a higher energy level...

Till then! Adios! Have a good week ahead!

'KNOTS'

It seems like this week passes very slowly for me. At last, it’s finally Thursdays and my most major paper is over! Heaved a huge sigh. I still have 2 papers, a FYP presentation and a 2000-word report due next week. At least I can breath a little better now. The past few days were jam packed with exams, lessons, and a project presentation. ARGH.

Went for a run just now. Amazed with my energy level. Only slept for 5 hours last night mugging for the paper and stayed back in school to do FYP after the paper. It’s 1230am, now and im still wide awake. I need to turn in real soon as I still need to go to school tomorrow for my FYP discussion.

Felt rather tired during the run. Took a wee-bit longer than usual for the same route. It’s not exactly mental nor physical fatigue. I also don’t understand, but found it hard to run. Could not focus as well on my run as well, I ended up counting the umber of mango trees that I ran past! There is a whole row of them along the stretch of road leading from Jurong East all the way to Choa Chu Kang! But the mangos are all not ripe! Still green and are rather small. Counting mangoes was a mistake; it only make my run feel longer.

Suffered a little spasm in my right upper back region when I was running up a slope. The last time I suffered a spasm was during a run right after a swim. This muscle spasm actually had its history dated back to my Judo days when my back was overworked in a way and the muscles decided to protest by cringing up all together to inform me that I have overstressed them. Went to see the sports doctor several times over this and all the physiotherapist could do was to give me massages. But they were good. I miss them. It’s been a long time ever sicne I went for a back massage. I need one right now.

I was told to swim which would relax the muscles and also massage some ‘vital points’ in the muscles to relax them. More often than not, these ‘vital points’ are usually where the ‘knots’ exist. ‘Knots’ are actually tightened muscles that would go into spasm when u overwork them. The exact mechanism that sparks off this I do not know, most probably it’s due to oxygen shortage. And these knots are actually everywhere in your body. I can identify them for you just by massaging a part to see if there’s a ‘creaking’ sound and if it hurts or not! I have loads of them in every part of my body, as I discovered over all these years. Not that I’m an athlete, but as long as u do not observe the proper posture ever since u are born into this world, a ‘knot’ can occur in that particular part of your body due to sloughing as u place too much stress on one part of the body or perhaps repetitive stress motion like staying at the keyboard the whole day without moving about! They simply appear as u wear and tear your body with the passing of each day.

I was wondering how my entire body would feel so light and rejuvenated and fresh if only all these ‘knots’ would disappear. I would be running or swimming or doing anything else with a much relaxed body. And I’m sure performance would be much better.

Liken these ‘knots’ to the problems and troubles in Life. Life would be so much smoother if these ‘knots’ were removed, agree? It would proceed without any hindrance and we would not age that fast too. Hah. However, the moment we were born onto this world, we are born to accept the vices that ruled this world. Similar to ‘knots’, there’s no escape from them. We just got to live with them and find ways to make ourselves comfortable. There will always be a limit as to how much u can push them until the pain comes. Then u will be warned that u need a break. Otherwise, it will break u.

I do have a ‘knot’ in my Life right now. The stress from the last week in school and I do not even want to think about the prospects of strating work in June yet. I do know how to undo this ‘knot’: Travel. It frees my mind and I do not need to be concerned with matters back at home for a period of time. An escape of reality in a way, but an exposure to what I call the ‘bona fide reality’ out there. I need to breath.

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A friend sent me this website. I have signed up to be on the mailing list and I do hope that everyone would take some time off to visit the website and be part of this cause too. It’s as simple as forwarding emails on your computer. The videos, as quoted from my friend, are “simple yet chillingly powerful�. On child mortality and AIDS. Please be a citizen of the world. Lend a helping hand. http://www.makepovertyhistory.org/

If We Hold On Together

Heard this song on Class 95 last night when I switched on my radio at 1205, after the ‘Party Weekend’ was over. Oh man, Class 95 has a theme every weekend and they would play songs according to that weekend’s theme. The songs are horrible basically for this weekend that just passed. :p I was struggling to keep my eyelids open after studying for the past 2 hours or so. When I heard this song, immediately perked up. Gotta dedicate this song to all my dear old NY pals, especially the class of Sec 4/2, with whom I went thru ups and downs and shared so much tears and laughter. We loved this song man!

Also dedicate this song to my OBS watch of 2000. Somehow, somebody from the watch started singing this song one day and soon, we were singing and teaching this song to the other members in the watch who dunno the song. Miss those days sitting by the jetty at night with the cool breeze falling upon your face and just singing along with the rest. Nothing very much was on my mind then, except to treasure every moment that I have on the compounds of OBS, as well as the times spent with my watch and instructor.

Sometimes, your memory bank just need a jolt to remind u of the good, old days… And I had mine last night…

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If We Hold On Together
by Diana Ross

Don't lose your way with each passing day.
You've come so far, don't throw it away.
Live believing - dreams are for living,
Wonders are waiting to start.
Live your story - Faith, Hope and Glory
Hold to the truth in your heart.

If we hold on together,
I know our dreams will never die.
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by,
For you and I.

Souls in the wind must learn how to bend,
Seek out a star, hold on to the end.
Valley mountain, there is a fountain
Washes our tears all away.
Worlds are swaying - someone is praying,
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together,
I know our dreams will never die.
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by,
For you and I.

When we are out there in the dark,
We'll dream about the sun.
In the dark we'll feel the light,
Warm our hearts, every one.

If we hold on together,
I know our dreams will never die.
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly,
The clouds roll by,
for You and I.

Invade Iran?

Below was something that I had written some months ago when Bush was just re-elected as the president… Found it sitting in my folder waiting to be published to the world… So here it is, a bit outdated I understand, but one of those though-provoking issues I wanna highlight in my blog and whatever writing I do nowadays… Let me know what u guys feel about this issue…

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Invade Iran?

It’s one of my travel destinations to-be. Even considered to go there for my graduation trip in May before… And it has a rich history that dates back to the Persian empire where they ruled for centuries. Persepolis is one of Unesco World Heritage Sites. The people are warm and beautiful, as with all other Middle Easterns. And now, Bush is calling the place ‘an axis of evil’ and threatening to invade the country.

I really dunno what to say of him. Especially since I never had a good impression of him ever since he refused to sign the Kyoto Protocol. His refusal to sign it means not having to abide by the laws which regulate the emission of the Greenhouse gases. This means he can emit as much Greenhouse gases he wants! Damn.

According to a friend who’s studying in United States right now, he told me that the entire American population is fooled by him as his administration would adjust the P.S.I standards and as a result, a higher than acceptable level of harmful gases is allowed in the atmosphere. Oh well, the air in America. Their P.S.I standards are indeed different from other countries.

Surely u have heard of Fox news? It’s PROPAGANDA in the States! They are pro-Bush and they would actually have some people vote for Bush because of what they broadcast!
They called Kerry a ‘flip-flopper’ and also accused of Kerry having a French ancestor, thereby America runs the risk of being handed over to the French if he’s President! What trash!

On the pretext of ridding the world of dangerous W.M.D.s(Weapons of Mass Destruction) in Iraq, that idiot invaded Iraq. Hahaha…. Where are they? Tell me, where are the weapons now? It’s all because of the oil…….

So many countries see the world as a more dangerous place now because of Bush. Those who support him mainly are looking at economic values they can reap, even from commoners interviewed by ‘TODAY’ newspaper on the streets just right after the election. Let’s wait and see what he can bring about… The USD has been in its worst state at the moment, as far I can remember.

He’s asking for billions more for reconstruction efforts in Iraq or something along that line… I wonder if he’s truly sincere… Why not channel those money to help the millions of Aids victims in Africa and South America, the rebuilding of thousands of communities in South Asia or simply to boost his own home economy? Is his brain a fish tank with gold fish inside?

Tiring week.

It’s finally Friday. After a busy week in school… Everyday had been focused on the projects that were upcoming and the exams as well... Just finished tuition at 9pm and had a really late dinner at 930. Whoa, today had been a day thoroughly used up to its fullest. A quiz in the morning from 9-10, then lesson from 10-1030 before project discussion till 145pm before I could go for lunch. Then some free time whereby I was in the computer lab and then 3pm project discussion again and finally the presentation at 4pm! What a pathetic audience of only 8 classmates who turned up. And what a pathetic grade of B+. Sigh. Our content was awarded ‘A’ by the lecturer but cuz of our lack of confidence in the material, we got a ‘B+’ instead!!! ARGH! We were all lethargic at the end of the day and what’s more, it was a 5 hour break in a way. Not for me as I stayed in school to discuss projects. But 3 of my groupmates went home. The lecturer was tired too. Everyone was tired. So we got a tired grade as well. Sighz. At the very least(to console myself),1 project down. And this project was started since week 6? This is the week 14 of school for me now. It has been dragged long enough…

Went swimming after the presentation. Needed to let off some steam and relax my exhausted mind. Rushed back to give tuition after that. Phew. What a day.

Not been able to updae my blog as and when I like lately although I have thoughts that I wanna pen down! And after a day or so, they just went missing. Sigh. My monitor is switching between a yellow and white screen right now. It needs to retire already. I still have a practical session to attend at SGH tomorrow morning from 830-1230! What the??!! Going to Sim Lim to buy a new monitor after that.

It was supposed to be 3 exam papers and 2 project presentations next week for me. My killer week. However, somehow, one of the papers and my FYP presentation are postponed to the following week. So it’s 2 papers and 1 presentation due this upcoming week, with the same number due on week 16 + a 2000-word report on ‘Cost cutting measures in the Radiology Department’. Crappy. That’s my presentation next week btw. It’s a module called ‘Administration and Law’. Damn crappy module by a USELESS lecturer who’s always wasting our time in class. Cannot stand NYP.

After week 16, which is 2 weeks from now, I’ll be free! Alrite, at least for maybe 5 weeks? I have yet to decide where im going for my graduation trip. It gonna be a smashing trip but im really counting very much on the price of the tics. Sigh. Wait till I bought the tics, only then will I reveal where im going…

Thought I should acknowledge what several of my friends have noted down in response to my earlier posts:
Xianru! Don’t want to put my photo on my blog la… So narcissistic… Hah… And I don’t look very good in them. :p I saved them onto my own PC thou. *Chuckles*

Serena and Meishen! Thanks for the wishes! Hey, I believe if u really wanna do something(not necessarily a race or sporting event), im sure u will be able to discipline yourself and carry it out to the end too! :)

Wanz: Hey hey... Someone who will take in the beauty of Nature along with me! :) The dark clouds accompanying the rainy weather for the past week really gives me an ominous feeling associated with the 3 witches from Macbeth! Don't u agree! Hah! Really miss those days!

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The reason why I added the lyrics of “The Animal Song� was because I heard the song when I was running last week and really felt like running away from it all. Did not have much feelings about the song when it 1st came out back in 1998. However, on a particular day sometime in 2003, when I overheard the song being played again, I found the lyrics really meaningful. It can be so true at times especially when u’re in a job where u have to face numerous number of patients a day…

The Animal Song by Salvage Garden

When superstars and cannonballs are running through your head
A television freak show cops and robbers everywhere
Subway makes me nervous, people pushing me too far
I've got to break away
So take my hand now

[Chorus:]
'Cause I want to live like animals
Careless and free like animals
I want to live
I want to run through the jungle
The wind in my hair and the sand at my feet

I've been having difficulties keeping to myself
Feelings and emotions better left up on the shelf
Animals and children tell the truth, they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought, now you decide

Compassion in the jungle
Compassion in your hands, yeah
Would you like to make a run for it
Would you like to take my hand, yeah

[chorus]

Sometimes this life can get you down
It's so confusing
There's so many rules to follow
And I feel it
'Cause I just run away in my mind

Superstars and cannonballs running through your head
Television freak show cops and robbers everywhere
Animals and children tell the truth, they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought, now you decide

Compassion in the jungle
Compassion in your hands, yeah
Would you like to make a run for it
Would you like to take my hand, yeah

[repeat chorus to fade]