Friday, March 30, 2007

Wild Cat,, Conqueoror, New Wave Puritan & Home Soul

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Life in A&E

I have finished my last night shift in A&E. It's been a whirlwind on Thursday night when it was soooo busy throughout the night. The cases were non-stop until 630am in the morning! Though they tapered off from 3am onwards, there are still patients who could walk and would come up to the counter for xray instead of us having to go to the Critical Care area to do the xrays. Argh. And there were many youngsters... Mmm... People in their 20s to 30s? I wonder why they were there in the middle of the night. It's not even the weekend. Ran away from home and hope to stay a night in the hospital? Hah!

I think I managed to catch some shut-eye, for 15mins? 20mins? Power nap that was at 5am.

Oh, and this supposedly 'backlog' was caused by the closure of THAT dear hospital in the north for 4 hours from 12-4pm! What the?! I heard from a staff nurse that Wed night was even worse as we managed to 'clear' the patients on Thurs. Mmm... I cannot imagine how Wed night was like, with Thurs night already horrible enough...

Anyway, night shift does funny things to me. At least in A&E. I did not feel like this when I was doing night shifts in IPS. I guess cuz it's busier in A&E and the atmosphere is still very 'lively' and the whole place is brightly lit with all the staff awake and walking around. Whereas in IPS, it's just me and my HCA. The light is often dimmed and we sitting at the front counter, staring into the computers, surfing internet or reading. Boring.

Thoughts of contemplation of the meaning of Life comes to me at times. When I encountered cancer patients sometimes, and they had to admit into A&E in the dead of night cuz of shortness of breath or extreme pain.

When there are RTA (road traffic accident) patients rushed in, and the healthcare personnel would be doing their best to do everything they could to preserve their lives.

When there are drunkards who got into a brawl and have to be admitted, with accompanying policemen.

When there are clubbers who have actually danced till they dislocated their shoulders! (This is real! I had such a patient before!)

When there are heart patients who might have suffered from a transient ischaemic attack and are admitted to locate an impending time bomb of thrombus or aneurysm which would ultimately cut their short their life.

When there are party animals dressed to kill, reeking of smoke and alcohol, slumped on the trolley and vomitting their guts out...

One can only encounter such cases when u work in the hospital at night. This was the only saving grace for me after I learnt of having to do night shifts during the schooling days. I remember trying to psycho myself to think of these as exciting and challenging as what u would see in dramas like 'ER' and such. And I even said I might choose A&E to be the permanant centre I am going to be in after a year.

Yeah, I had chosen, but not given my choice. And I have chosen them for different reasons. But now, the very reasons that had sparked off my interest of working in A&E are what I guess I have been looking for in this line.

Being a radiographer has never ever crossed my mind in the younger days. This is not my ideal career at all. However, as I am drawn into this, I make the best out of it. And it certainly never occurred to me that the kind of cases and patients I meet actually help shape and further compounded on my attitudes towards Life. And I found this realisation in the very department I am in now. This is certainly another HUGE plus factor why I would love to remain in A&E. I do not think my colleagues would think that far and I would not bother to explain this particular reason to them, for they do not know me. That I think so deep. Most probably, they would dismiss me as a person who think too much!

On Thursday night, there were 3 patients admitted for multiple stab wounds. The resuscitation room was jam packed with patients and all the patients required xrays! I was tested to the max, as my partner was at the other side and there were no cases there. But he did not know that it would be so busy here too. I had the thought of how he was relaxing while I was slogging away. However, he did come by after an hour after seeing that I was not back for so long.

The 3 patients got to be my bloodiest cases ever. And I saw how stab wounds are actually. They are nothing more than just incisions in your skin actually, but your internal organs would be bleeding for sure. There would not be any bluish-green on your skin, as seen on many RTA patients, as you were not being impacted. But blood could most probably be flowing non-stop from an outlet.

As I neared the patient, the smell of the blood, the smell of iron actually, was strong. Groaning away in pain, I had to obtain several xrays before they wheeled her into the operating theatre. There were many other personnels around her, all doing their best to make sure she was going to make it.

I was very curious. There were so many questions in my mind. Who would stab these 3 people? 2 ladies and a man. Middle-aged. They are Indians, and they do not seem like they are locals. A robbery? They are like our neighbourhood uncles and aunties, what feud could have cause this?

I never did find out the reason. Nevertheless, this is the kind of case that have unknowingly made me fell in love with A&E. As much as there are MANY crappy people coming in for the most minor ailment and hence treating A&E like a polyclinic, there are also genuine cases waiting to be tended to, waiting to be given a helping hand from the gates of Death. And I have witnessed some really caring and selfless nurses who have such a good temper. Gosh, they must really be angels in the form of human beings.

U can get numbed. U can become desensitized. Especially towards those crappy cases. However, when the time comes, your heart string would be tugged and u know when u have to give, even though there may be no thanks. And it might be hard to get the patient's cooperation.

After writing so much, I am still going to be transferred. I felt terrible last week. The entire Mon-Wed was spent moaning over my fate. More or less. I learnt to move on. I was trying to psycho myself into thinking life at IPS would not be so bad. What a lie. Talk about such life philosophies to my BIG BOSS? Nah! They would most probably pass u off as a 23-year-old who have not seen much of Life yet. I feel like telling them I would most probably have experienced much more things and emotions than they had at my age. Hmph.

I am going to miss the work here definitely. The environment, the colleagues, the atmosphere, the busyness, the camaderie, the off days! Sigh. I am so going to make sure I am transferring back in Oct when the expansion starts. I have have always fought for what I want in my life, and I certainly am not giving in so easily to such a bureaucratic organisation.


I am a part of all that I have met. ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. ~Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, May 06, 2006

The issues at stake

This was an interesting article which I read when I was browsing through the news on Yahoo webpage. Yeah, hope the ones able to vote are mature enough to open up their eyes and mind to what's going on around them and the larger issues at stake. And not let the nitty-gritty silly arguments affect their decision... Wake up, guys!

Saturday May 6, 8:17 AM

Will the real First World voter please stand up?

SINGAPORE: Desepite the James Gomez sideshow and the hysteria that has accompanied it, there is a certain neatness to this particular General Election.

In the first forays that got the campaign on its way, the People's Action Party (PAP) asked: You have this yearning for opposition, but are you being offered a First World opposition?

The Opposition replied: Do we have a First World Government in the first place?

Rhetoric, perhaps, but the real test of Singapore's electoral process coming of age must, we think, hinge on a related theme: Do we have First World voters?

The by-election strategy practised by Singapore's Opposition parties had all but taken this factor out of the equation. Since 1988, by conceding the Government before the first vote was cast, they had reduced the polls to rather narrow dimensions.

By force of circumstances, the debate was narrowed from who should form the next Government to one centred on whether or why an Opposition was needed in Parliament and which candidate was willing to work harder to serve his constituents and manage a Town Council to bring about improvements.

No longer. With only 37 seats uncontested this time around and 47 still to fight for (still too few by First World standards, but it's a start), voters actually have an opportunity to think beyond their immediate surroundings and send a signal on the kind of country they want to live in. They will get the Government they deserve.

Singapore's evolving electorate has in the past shown that it still has some way to go before it can be considered enlightened. In his dialogue with young Singaporeans, Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew mentioned how the PAP generally preferred to field Chinese males in single-member wards, presumably because the electorate still carried racial and gender biases to the polling both.

A voter who will refuse to vote for a Ramalingam because he is Indian, a Diana Chan because she is female or a Hazlinda because she is neither Chinese nor male does not deserve to be called a First World voter. Quite simply, the vote should go to the party or candidate that can serve best - and nothing else should matter.

A First World voter would be more persuaded by the bigger picture than who gives the most entertaining rally speech. He would not be swayed by sniping and potshots aimed at the political opponent - empty talk that rates high on style but low on substance.

He will compare visions, weigh the philosophies and examine the personnel before him - without double standards for the incumbent or the opponent. After all, why should the First World voter settle for anyone less capable or with less integrity?

In this campaign, the Opposition has stuck to one recurring theme: Alternative voices, checks and balances. It has argued that no government, however good and honest, can be endlessly trusted to be its own watchdog. It has asked Singaporeans to send its members to Parliament so that they can keep an eye on what, despite the Opposition's nominal challenge, will certainly be a PAP Government.

The ruling party has stressed that the Singapore system is unique. It has asked whether Singapore really needs to follow a model of democracy in which governments are forced to think short-term - from election to election - and come up with populist, if harmful, policies just to keep the Opposition at bay. It has pointed to its track record and asserted that it has both the vision and the personnel to deliver the goods.

A First World voter will think, weigh and decide what is good for him in the long term. He will not be churlish or petty.

He will use his vote wisely. - TODAY /dt

Monday, April 17, 2006

I watched the 2pm news earlier after lunch just now. Oh dear... What's happening to the world? There were basically about 8-9 news bulletin and none of them, oh yes, NONE of them were good news... All are reports on something bad...

1) Iran nuclear program. Invasion by U.S.? Any move by U.S. and suicide bombers would be sent to the United States? That would really send the entire Middle East region into chaos. Iran had been at war with Iraq for 8 years from 1980-1988. Come on, surely not another war to add to the already conflicting world we have? Sigh... Violence begets violence. When will it all ends?

2) Sri Lanka. Violence has erupted over the past week and killed 63 so far in the Northern and Northwestern areas of the country, strongholds of the Tamil Tigers, further upsetting any improvement to peace plans being made... Sigh.

3) Nepal. Opposition parties urged people not to pay taxes and declared an economic war. Food and fuel supplies are in shortage in the country. Another mass protest set on this coming Thursday. Sigh. This looks like the stage set for an impending emergency state to be annoucned anytime.

4) Turkey. A bomb blast went off in Istanbul, injuring several. What's up this time, man?

5) China. Beijing's resident woke up today to find the city shrouded under a cloud of sand. Sand storms had started last week. I simply hope it would not continue...

The countries I love are simply in a mess. Sigh. And the coutnry I'm going to go has a sand storm raging every now and then?! It seems like there's nowhere in the world that's really safe and perfect right now for travel. Or at least, the countries I love...

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Yeah! The rain has stopped! Time to go running!

What last minute change of plans

Yeah, it's been confirmed last Wednesday. I am not going to Nepal anymore... I had received an email from my team leader regarding the possibility of trip postponement last Wed, 12th April. Being the practical me, I faced up to reality and was scouring for a new destination as I know it's impossible to postpone my leave and I do not find it appropriate to cancel my leave and go back to work.

Then my team leader called in the early afternoon when I was still at home. The trip need to be postponed at least for 1 week. Then during the weekend, it was postponed for 2 weeks, with them leaving on the 26th April. Yesterday, they were looking at a new destination. India. They are going to trek the Kullu Valley in the Western Himalayas. Guess it must be quite untouched by the modern devastations of tourism... since I have not heard of it! Yeah, the trip is still pending now and I can see my team leader to doign his best to get everything together right and please everyone... Gee... Not easy... Thanks, Alex, though I'm not joining u guys... Like he had said, ABC is always there since it's a well-trodden path. I will be there someday! With my good friends by my side hopefully!

I thought I was ready to move on and not be that disappointed... I was well, wrong. Somehow, waking up at 5.30am on Saturday(on the day I'm supposed to fly off) after having gone to bed at only 12 the night before with the 1st thought that came to my mind, "Argh. I'm not flying off to Nepal today." I forced myself back to sleep cuz I was really tired! Guess my sub-conscious mind really wanted very much to go, if not my conscious self.

I got up at 7, and started looking up at websites and LP's forum and called up agencies at 9 after they opened. Decided on the new destination and went down to get my tickets. I suddenly had so much time on my hands that I felt kind of lost. I had nothing planned for the weekend cuz I'm supposed to be out of the country already! Good Friday was supposed to be the last day in Singapore and I had all events planned up till that day only! Argh.

I thought of going back to work and changing shift with my friend so that I will have maybe 1 more day at the end of my holidays but it's too troublesome. Sigh. Now I understand the saying, "Boredom kills."

The disappointment was real. As I walked along Chinatown, I could hear me telling myself, "I should be on the flight to Kathmandu now." Sigh. No fate with Nepal. What to do? Things happen for a reason. There must be a better time to go there. In fact, I have not planned to go Nepal in the 1st place this year. Everything falls in place. I even forfeited a free ticket to Hong Kong and the chance to travel with a good friend to go Nepal. Sigh. Things are not meant to be. I am disappointed, but it's time to move on and not dwell over such trivial things...

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I read up extensively on Xinjiang in Kinokuniya after getting my air tic from the agency. That was already 2pm when I got to Kino. I managed to borrow an outdated copy of LP China from the Orchard Library and went down to Kino after that. I was happy that I am going somewhere I want. I decided on China as the countries in the nearby region within 4hours' flight have been visited. I would love to revisit Sri Lanka, and the air ticket was going at dirt cheap price as well. But with the recent unrest in the North-Western part of Trincomalee again, and me wanting to see Jaffna(Northern part held by Tamil Tigers), it's not wise to go there now. Besides, I just went there in 2004 Dec. Should wait for a longer period before I go there again...

Destinations like Philippines and East Malaysia are possible destinations too, but I feel I need more time to prepare for them. Checking out the airfares on promotion, I decided to go to China and from there to Xinjiang, the nearest I can get to Central Asia without all the hassles. It's once part of the Silk Road as well and known otherwise as the Uyghur Autonomous State, comprises of more Muslims than any other regions in China, and is more Central Asian then mainland China.

I was fervently reading up on Xinjiang and Xinjiang only. However, after going through the necessary details of getting there and the number of days I can spend there, I realise it's not cost-effective to spend $1000 in oder to just go Xinjiang and I can spend only a mere 11days there... From Beijing to Urumqi is 4 hours of flight or 2days by train. The airfare costs $200 one way when there is discount. The discounts vary day to day actually. $200 is the lowest u can pay. Otherwise, the train journey of 2days cost $200 as well. Well, $1000 on air tickets to get to a destination and spending only 11 days in that place is simply not my style of travel. Sigh. I gave Xinjiang up and now am focusing on exploring Beijing, Shanghai and Inner Mongolia. 15days is more than enough to do this.

I once vowed to go to Beijing before the Olympics few years back after they won the bid. Well, this somewhat forgotten wish is going to be fulfilled! Athens was fulfilled too. There's the Great Wall and Hutongs in Beijing, the Bund in Shanghai and the exoticness of Inner Mongolia to look forward to. I just have to read up LP right now.

I have to seriously think about where I want to go next for the next holiday this year as I still have 19days of leave left, carried forward from last year. I was thinking and planning already. I need to have a plan. Only then do dreams come true...

Aiye. Last minute plans.


Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.
~Seneca

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Go The Distance

Oh dear... There are so many things that I want to write about, and certain events on certain are causing a backlog on my entries... Haven't been faithfully writing of late... Been busy reading up more and putting together stuff for my trip... :p *guilty* And of course, busy meeting up friends of late too, while trying to maintain my training schedule... It's not EASY!!!

All right, just missed out on a swim session today because I decided to go down City Hall to meet MH and XY. XY actually messaged me yesterday to ask about solo backpacking and hope to meet up to find out certain things from me. I had wanted to meet YL and Jo after an easy swim after work at 3pm today. It's cancelled as YL was going out for another dinner with LL's parents. Called Jo to join us at City Hall but she was lazy to come out. Mmm... Tough decision for me as I had to swim later after meeting them up and eating. Thought it would not be that hard. In the end, after YQ came to meet us, oh well, heck, it was hard to tear myself away from them, especially since I have not met XY and YQ for a long time!

I met XY and MH 1st and we went to Cedele. My choice. XY's going to Tibet!!! Overland either by train or bus from Chengdu!!!! Oh man!!!! WL had been telling me about the new train route that opened recently from CHina into Tibet lately also, but I forgot from which city... I'm so envious!!! TIBET!?!? *Free Tibet campaign comes into mind. :p* I hope to make a trip there soon too, overland from China on train! I love train rides! She gonna have 6 weeks of travelling before starting work... and she's thinking of going Mongolia too!!! ARGH!!!!!! I am envious... Well, not extreme, as I would in the past. I know I would have my share of fun and travelling too. :)

YQ came after tuition and he was late! We had so many episodes of laughter throughout the meeting and my ribs was aching! It's a kind of pain that I used to have after I started long distance running. Haven't had that for a long time. I love my judoka pals... Haha... Never fail to make my day! We discussed so many issues and kept teasing YQ about his 'F' to 'G' transformation... :p It was totally hilarious everytime he tried his cold jokes on us or try some analogy or talk rubbish! I was really entertained as well as my other 2 compatriots. We were rocking the entire 'Thai Express' with our laughter! :D

Parted with them at 9pm when YQ insisted he wanted to go home to catch his soccer match. Alright, alright. Let him be then. MH has to work tomorrow, and I would be waking up early to do my make up swim for today as well. :p

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Realised that it's only 6 more days to my trip and 5 days for me to get everything together! Mmm... Getting a bit stressed. Control, control. I'm not going to do last minute packing. I can do it. :p

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8th April, Saturday: I have been hyper for the entire day. Perhaps the caffeine in the morning coffee played a part. Work: 8am-3pm. I had to fill in the form for the PA medical declaration and mail it back to Alex. I certainly do not want to go to the GP and pay $30 for a very physical checkup when I face doctors everyday in my work!!! I then decided to get the help of any doctor from A&E to help me sign the form. TR, a HCA that I'm close to, came for work at 2pm and she's on quite good terms with some doctors. WSY, my colleague and classmate, was there to give me the 'support' too. Haha. Approached Dr NR, but he was busy with some patients. Then Dr SA was very free at his computer. Went up to him and ask him to help me with the form. He asked where I am going for my trek and told him 'Nepal' and he went, "Oh, that's my neighbour country."

I went, "Yeah! Which part are u from then?"

"New Delhi."

"Oh, the capital... Cool..."

"Have u been there before?"

"Nope, but I certainly hope to go there one day soon. There's so many things to see and do in India! It's an amazing country!"

"Really? U want to go to India? We would gladly welcome u!"

Or so I hope. Haha. The above conversation was made up by me. :p I would definitely go into such a conversation if I know the person better. The conversation simply stopped at the 'Yeah.' Haha... I wanted to just get it done. He looked through the simple questionaire he's supposed to tick through and then took my pulse. He said my pulse was too slow. He asked me how many beats per minute(BPM). '60?' That was more than a year ago when I took it myself. He said, "No, I think it's 50." Not so low la! Then we took my BP and the monitor showed 117, 76. Healthy range. And my BPM was 55! I was thrilled! WAY went, "Wah kau, u are super fit la!" Hehe... All those long distance swims and runs have not come to naught!

Dr SA then went, "Are you an athlete?" I went, "Yes." Not a competitive one though. Heh... I was worried about my BP cuz when I took it on Tuesday morning at 9am, it was low! 98, 58! Same on both arms! Whoa! Never had low BP before. But I felt very fine that morning. Maybe it's just in the morning.

Dr SA wrote his name, medical registration number, 'SGH A&E' (no clinic stamp!), signed and then passed me the form. I was jumping with joy after that! Literally! Yippee! I got it done! Without going to the GP!

The work flow was all right, with constant cases flowing in the entire time. After knocking off, I went to the pharmacy to get some stuff for the team 1st aid kit. After which it was off to Bt Batok to meet Annie to get my warm clothing from her. She lent me so many pieces! And she also dropped in heat paks, ziploc bags, and a big pouch! Thanks, Annie! She's always so motherly and kind. :)

Rain. Such lazy weather to stay in. I waited for the rain to stop before running at 640pm. Rather late but I still decided to run to 'GH' for it's going to be another 1 month before I get to run there. After I come back, that is. And the heavy rain had given the earth a clean wash and the air was fresh, with the light breeze blowing in your face as u run. The insects and animals would have come alive after the rain. Only bad thing was the wet grounds. Mmm... My shoes are dirty anyway. I just want to enjoy the environs.

Have not ran in 'GH' after a rain for quite sometime. I love the fresh and invigorating feeling. I was on adrenalin high just thinking about my trip and the fact that my HR per minute was 55 and the emails I received from friends in response to the email I sent out. Felicitas, a German lady I met in Iran replied and I was so happy to hear from her. :) She would be in Sikkim while I'm in Nepal! Cool! A very kind lady in her fifties already and she has been travelling since her youth... SHe told me before about how Indonesia used to be before it opened up and before the term 'independant travel' or 'backpacking' came to be the hip thing of the 20th century. Wow. A vast expanse of knowledge behind her... I was in awe of her when I met her in Iran. A very open lady as well. We are still in touch and she's someone I hope to keep in contact with. :)

The run took 1hour 3minutes. I did 3 sets of F/C after that, energy level still running high.
5 min, 5.5 min, 6 min. The moon is half its roundness. Pretty. It was late when I finally got back home and settled down for dinner. 845pm. Whoa.

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Go The Distance - Hercules soundtrack

I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though the road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star
I can go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

I will search the world
I will face its harms
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...


I think that travel comes from some deep urge to see the world, like the urge that brings up a worm in an Irish bog to see the moon when it is full.
~Lord Dunsany

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
~St. Augustine


Below was the email which I sent out on Friday,7th Mar to friends to inform them about my upcoming trip. Just thought that I want to post it here too. Kind of form part of my blog for that day. Here goes...

Harlow
everyone!!

I hope this email finds everyone well. It's been a long time ever since I sent out a mass mail. :) And there's reason to do this cuz I am going for a trip again! Well, for those who do not know yet, I am flying to the country where Heaven and Earth meet, where the highest peak in the world is, and which boasts of some of the toughest people in the world. If u have not guess it, yup, it's Nepal.

My trip will last for 18days, from 15th April to 2nd May. I will trekking the Annapurna Circuit, and should be able to complete 80% of the route, if all things go well. My team consists of a total of 17 members, where I am the youngest. Hee.... Most of the others are middle-aged and above. Well, not that this is the 1st time I?m traveling with people much older than me anyway.

During this 18 days, I would not have any access to communications means, unless I'm in the towns of Kathmandu and Pokhara. But time is precious as we do not have much of it to spend in either towns. Most likely, I would not be writing back at all. My handphone would be off as well. Cut off from Singapore for this period. Just what I prefer on any other trip. :p The last time this occurred was in Myanmar where there was no Internet access also!

I had wanted to write this email 2 weeks ago, but wanted to further confirm everything and wait for myself to be truly excited before I write this. Finally. One week before leaving. It's not too late this time round, right, folks? It's not those just few days before kind of email. And I am really excited right now. In fact, I just finished compiling my list of 'to-brings' and read the LP Nepal guide. Oh gosh, one of my childhood dreams is coming true! I have this list of countries which I have always wanted to go since young. And I mean, really young. At the primary school level? When my age was still a single digit. Those countries are Egypt, Nepal, Tibet, Rome(din know this was not a country at that time!) and Greece. Of course, the list of countries just kept getting longer. My focus had shifted as well. Rome and Greece were because of the Roman ruins and the many Greek mythologies and legends that had fascinated me since young. Egypt: Guess no further explanation needed right? Nepal and Tibet: Because of the mountains, of their elusiveness and of the rich Buddhist culture that fascinated me at a very impressionable age.

As I grow up, the various trekking tales caught my imagination and fascinated me. I had dreamt of becoming an archaeologist before(hence the appeal of the countries with ruins) and later on, a mountaineer. Or maybe perhaps, just a mountain trekker. Haha. Somehow, somewhere along the way, those dreams get blurred and indistinct. U have other obligations to fulfill. U have to walk down a certain path that has been laid for you. U are bound by circumstances. U have to do something else because it's basically impossible to be an archaeologist or a zoologist or a mountaineer or a marine biologist in Singapore! Or simply because, those dreams are not REALISTIC at all in the eyes of those loved ones around you! Ironic, isn't it? How your loved ones should stop u from becoming the person u want to be at times?

At least I have my freedom to pursue my dreams at this moment. A person only has this one life and that much time on earth. It's already April 2006. I realized that it has been almost a year since I traveled independently. My last trip to Iran was in May last year! Time flies, especially more so when u have so many things u want to do and everyday just whiz by with the list getting longer. Hey, it could get shorter too! If u are constantly ticking out those boxes on the list! :)

On a last note, just wanna share with u guys something that happened a few days ago at my workplace. My immediate boss in this department that I am working at now(A&E) is very open and outgoing. He loves to travel too and we often chat a lot about travel-related issues. He had asked me about Vietnam last week as he is going there tomorrow on Sat. I wrote him my itinery when I was there in 2004. When he knew I was going to Nepal, he offered to help me get any medications at discounted prices I might need for my trip from his niece who's a nurse.

This week, there were 2 students on attachment at the department and from our conversations, they know I am going to Nepal. I think they asked him something regarding me and traveling. My boss then told them, "This girl is a traveler. One day, she's going to cover more countries than any of us here." I was washing my hands then after having tended to a patient and he turned to me, "Right or not?" I gave him a very definite answer. "Yeah, I want to!"

In my mind, I was actually thinking of saying, 'I hope to.' However, 'hope' is not strong enough. 'Want' would ensure u will achieve your target. I did not feel I was being boastful at that time, for it was him who came up with that statement! Heh... Anyway, I guess I have in fact covered more countries than most people in that department, or as compared to anyone around my age.

I will always remember what I promise to myself. And make sure that dreams do come true, just like the next trip I'm taking. To the kingdom where u can almost touch the Heavens, where superb sceneries take your breath away and where adventure and magic will unfold themselves in the soaring mountains... :) Nepal, here I come... A girl living out her childhood fantasies...

Warmest Wishes,
An ecstatic Eunice!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

One Moment in Time

I am off today and tomorrow from work. The last 2 days of 'off' before my Nepal trip next Sat! Oh, well, there's Good Friday too. I would be joining the runners at MR for a run in the morning. I have stared to get all my stuff lined up for the trip. I bought more or less, most of the stuff I need. Still need to borrow long johns from a friend. I do hope she has!

I went for a 31min run this morning from 9.37 to 10.08am. I was not feeling well over the past 2 days actually. After my swim on Monday, I wore my wet t-shirt home as the rain which came down when I was still in the pool drenched my entire tee and bermudas. I suffered a sore throat that night. I wonder if it was a result of the rain or simply cuz I have been rather heaty since the week of the biathlon. I started my own self-medication and ate lozenges, Danzen tablets, Panadol and Clarinase.

As a result, my throat did not feel good when I started my run this morn. It had the taste of the lozenges and anti-inflammatory tab that I ate after breakfast. My body did not seem to be able to coordinate very well too. I was breathing kind ohard. Thought my heart was beating too fast. The sun was HOT. I was doing my best to stay in the shade.

After the 1st 20mins, I felt all right. I did not push myself too hard, for fear that I would over exert. After all, I am still not fully well. However, when I had to stop to go climb the stairs, I felt I could continue somemore. I really could go further. However, the focus of the training today was the stairs! :p

And so I went, after changing into the boots that were meant for the trek. I set myself 10 sets at 1st, but pushed it to 12, after thinking that I had done 8 sets last week. An add-on of only 2 sets would not make much a difference. As I climbed, I felt strong and when I was at the 10th set, I decided to make it 15.

Yup, I did 15 sets! Up and down 14 floors. I only felt a bit of the aches at the 13th set onwards. Heh... Good... My legs are already getting accustomed. Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling an ache in my left calf. And I did not train yesterday! Must be all the squatting and bending over in CC yesterday.

I guess I am quite accustomed to moving about for long hours. My line of profession requires me to do that! And thus, I am ready for Nepal, I guess. Hah! After only 2 stair-climbing sessions and 1 trek to Bt Timah!? I will see how my legs feel tomorrow morning. I asked a friend who has been to Annapurna before and she recounted her experiences to me. It's days after days of walking, trekking through different and rough terrain. Average of about 6-7 hours a day? She told me my body would not be used to it the 1st few days, after which it would be bearable. I checked with Alex, my team leader, and it was confirmed that we would have porters carrying our bags for us. We would only be carrying our day pack on our treks. That is a great relief then. My usual day-to-day bag is already heavy enough and I sometimes carry that to go shopping. Mmm... Good training... :p

We would be staying in tea lodges! I feel very relieved to hear that as I cannot fathom sleeping in a tent on such high altitudes EVERY single night. Geez... That would be very cold and I might have problems getting to sleep. Glad to hear that we are going to be sleeping in lodges, be it on beds or simply on a wooden floor, it got to be warmer than sleeping out there in the cold! :p

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It was raining cats and dogs earlier before this. The perfect kind of weather to stay in at home and write... See photos posted... I love to watch the rain come down in sheets and the wind directing them into different paths... The earth would be so clean from the wash after that...

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One Moment In Time --- Whitney Housten

Each day I live
I want to be a day to give the best of me
I'm only one, but not alone
My finest day is yet unknown
I broke my heart for every gain
To taste the sweet, I faced the pain
I rise and fall,
Yet through it all this much remains

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

I've lived to be the very best
I want it all, no time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance here in my hands

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be, I will be, I will be free,
I will be free


I remember hearing this song after a run on 24th March when I was cooling down. It was only 2 days before my biathlon. The song means a lot to me. It's like an Olympic event song, somewhat like 'Reach' by Gloria Estefan. I was feeling very good after the run that morning and hearing this song only boosted my morale. I was reminded of how long I had come ever since the days of Judo. I remember that moment of glory when I received my 1st medal in 1997 after the National Schools and the classmates cheering for me. *weary smile* I remember those tortuous days of training when we were being tested to the limit under Sir. I remember those crazy 3 days of training camp in a row during the school holidays, and the muscle aches that would not go away after only a week. I remember the recess times spent at the parallel bars at old NY in order to be able to get through the entire length. I remember the tears and laughter I have shared with my dearest teammates...

I teared.

Now, I am doing a solo sport. I have never thought I could still continue to collect medals after the days of Judo. Although these are merely 'finisher's medals', it still attests to the amount of time and effort I put into training for each event. Behind those time and effort lies determination, courage, the will to achieve more and improve oneself and a belief. A belief that one can overcome anything if he allows himself to believe.

I love endurance sports.


"What matters is not the idea a man holds, but the depth at which he holds it."
~Ezra Pound

"Sport is where an entire life can be compressed into a few hours, where the emotions of a lifetime can be felt on an acre or two of ground, where a person can suffer and die and rise again on six miles of trails through a New York City park. Sport is a theater where sinner can turn saint and a common man become an uncommon hero, where the past and the future can fuse with the present. Sport is singularly able to give us peak experiences where we feel completely one with the world and transcend all conflicts as we finally become our own potential."
~George A. Sheehan





And finally the downpour... Posted by Picasa


Getting darker... Posted by Picasa


Think this only happens in Singapore Posted by Picasa


I am home today. I love clouds, especially those that roll in before a storm. Check out the contrast between the bright sunlight and the dark clouds above. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

A ride down Memory Lane

Today is my rest day fro trainings. It had been a busy past few days in the morning. My shift this week is 8am to 3pm, and it is supposed to be quieter in the mornings. However, this week has been exceptional! From 9am onwards, there would be a constant stream of patients coming in and we would kind of be stuck at CC area from 930am onwards! *argh* Heh... Who's working with me this week? PPP, ZHR on Monday and Tuesday and DAD & KTS today morning. Whew. PPP and DAD are well-known for their 'toxicity'... and with Dr RB on duty yesterday as well... Whoa, lethal combi... There were a total of 3 'multiple trauma' cases at lunch time yesterday! I did a patient in 'Resus' who fell from a scaffolding who required 8-9 regions of xrays! While ZHR did another old lady requiring xrays in 5 regions... I reckon I took about 50minutes to complete everything, with several repeats... With Dr RB adding on a new region every 5 minute or so, the case seemed to be never-ending. At least he's nice enough to say sorry and also justified for the reason why he wanted the xrays for... unlike some other doctors... :p

Knocked off at 3pm today! I hanged around settling some stuff and talking to TYS cuz I would not get to see him until I get back from Nepal. He's flying to Vietnam this Saturday and would be there for the week while I would be away to Nepal from Good Friday onwards for 2 weeks. As usual, our conversations are always peppered with travel related stuff. I finally proposed to him what I had wanted to suggest when I 1st came to A&E. Rubbish separation which can be sent for recycling afterwards. I remembered on Tuesday when I went running and was very exciting. I know something can be done on going green in the department. There are many different areas to look into. He told me to write him a list of things which I can think up of. Great! Something close to the heart, and can be used as an area of QI which I would definitely be interested in! :)

4th April, Tuesday: I was energetic enough after work, despite the busy day at work. I had slept only 5+hours on Sunday night, and 6hours on Monday night. I had weird dreams which I remembered on Sunday night and woke up too early on Monday morning. Went swimming on Monday after work, and ran after work on Tuesday, and yet I am still energetic enough to adjust to the lack of sleep this week. Last week's shift was 2-9pm, hence I had enough sleep EVERY day. In fact, I slept too much on certain days, and I was still not as energetic as this week. Perhaps, the fact that I'm going to Nepal had subconsciously sunk in and I am excited subconsciously? Hence, the level of energy I had for the past few days... Mmm... Who knows?

Anyway, I made a trip down to Mustafa Centre to get some items for the trip. Little India is actually one of my favourite place in Singapore, if u have not read my previous entries before. In a way, I feel like a traveler in this ethnic enclave of Singapore, but yet, I do know my way around more or less... I love Indian food, especially the vegetarian stuff. There's a whole lot of varieties which I have not tried before and am still on the way to exploring them. And then, there's Mustafa Centre, opened 24hours all year long(even during Deepavali!) and u can really find some great bargains if u know where to look. Basically, their electronic products are always worth looking into, as the prices are lower than those at Sim Lim Square and sports wear there are discounted too! I always get huge tubes of sunblock and moisturizer there as they are really much cheaper than elsewhere.

After getting what I needed, I decided to have dinner before making my way home. I walked through some back lanes and discovered some interesting looking shophouses. What was even more interesting was that there were several ladies dressed up prettily standing at the foot of the stairs. This was the Jalan Besar area, according to the road signs. There was several blocks of flats just behind those shophouses. Mmm... some illicit trade going on behind those shophouses? Many of the shophouses are actually selling vehicle spare parts, or engage in trading wholesale spare parts, with the odd Indian stall selling spices or another dealing in wholesale rice. It was certainly an interesting find. There's more to Little Indian behind the main street if you care to explore. I found several tastefully decorated backpackers lodges as well. :) They sure set the travel itch in me on fire!

It was almost 6.The sky was still clear although it looked like the dark clouds were approaching. I had a masala dosai with teh tarik at Komala's Villa. This restaurant is the 1st that I ever stepped into back in 1998 when my friend brought us here to eat authentic Indian food. Half of my class had gone for OBS and the other half had a week of free time in school, of which the school actually organized a heritage trip for them to Little India. My form teacher then, Mrs Siva Koh (she married a Chinese), introduced and taught them the bona fide way of eating Indian food, with your fingers! I still have not mastered this! A memory down the years... Who could ever have thought at that time I would fall in love with Indian food now? *weary laugh*

It was already raining when I exited the restaurant. I decided to walk over to Tekka Mall and get threading done. Ouch. My 3rd time and it still hurts, though not as much. At least I did not tear this time! Went to Sheng Siong to get biscuits and apricots for the trip, since I need to have snacks along the trek!

I was determined to take '67' home as I reckon the train would take me the same time and I need to change train and I would most prob not get a seat on board at all. I kind of lost my sense of directions and walked too long a distance to get to my desired bus stop. In any case, I got a seat on the bendy bus, much to my delight as it was one of my fave seating on the bus.

It was a ride down memory lane. The reason why I chose to take the bus home was partly cuz I had wanted to experience this too. The bus would travel down the stretch of Bukit Timah which had been a daily path of commute for me for a whole 6 years just a few years ago. That route brought back many memories; from the moment it passed by Serene Centre, to Coronation Plaza, to HC, to CHS, to NJ and NY, to 6th Ave, to KAP... Many landmarks have undergone uplifting work, some restaurants are gone, and the stretch of open-air eating place at 6th Ave is gone already, with new glitzy restaurants taking up its place. KAP has a new look inside as well, with it having the 24-hours drive-thru now.

Memories did not come flooding back the way I had expected. It was more of a very gentle walk down the growing-up days. I am not the sentimental person I used to be, when certain memories would overwhelm me. Some isolated scenes appeared in my mind. I miss those days fondly, definitely. I can feel warm tears rushing to my eyes. However, those days seem so long ago. It's been 5 years ever since I passed out from college. Somehow, I can never feel the desire to go back to those days anymore.

Is it because I have been hardened by Life? Is it because I am so blinded by the 'Rat Race' that seems to overshadow everything else now that I have started working? Or is it simply because I have grown up? And have learnt to let go...

Perhaps the last reason. Definitely not the first two. I have tasted some of the finest things Life has to offer, in my sense. I am living for the present. No longer for the past. Maybe sometimes for the future. The past has shaped who I am today. The past is a place to look back in terms of gratitude. Sometimes, it can act as a sanctuary to escape from the craziness of modern life when things were so much simpler then. Nonetheless, time can never be turned back and like what Morrie said, "The issue is to accept who you are and revel in that."


'Tuesdays with Morrie' is a wonderful book. For those who have not read this book before, u have miss out a gem. The messages the author and his ex-professor sent out in this book are direct, and if u do not let those words sink in to you, the magic of the book is lost. I love this chapter about aging.

"Weren't you ever afraid to grow old, I asked?"

"Mitch, I embrace aging."

"Embrace it?"

"It?s very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you would always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not decay, you know. It's also growth. It's more than the negative that you are going to die, it's also the positive that you know you are going to die, and you live a better life because of it."

"Yes, but if aging were so valuable, why do people always say, 'Oh, if I were young again.' You never hear people say, 'I wish I were sixty-five.'

He smiled. "You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you have found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can't wait until sixty-five."

"Listen. You should know something. All younger people should know something. If you are always battling against getting older, you are always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow."


I guess I have reached the stage whereby I really do look forward. I want to go forward. I want to see more and do more. I really do look forward to each day and want to live out each day like it would be my last. Everything I do everyday would leave me with no regrets even if that day were to be my last. Yes, this is how I live my Life. This is something which I am always doing, but have not spelt out for a long time. In a way, this ride down Memory Lane has allowed me to relook at my firm beliefs and principles. I have taken out my fave book too, and that chapter brought tears to my eyes when I reread it after a long time.


Finding meaning in your Life. I have found mine. I know what I want to do in this Life of mine. I am constantly fulfilling my goals that I have thought would only be dreams in the past. Many dreams have now become aspirations which I want to accomplish. Looking back at how my alma maters have shaped me, and the kind of dreams I used to share with close friends of mine, I am really grateful for all that I had been given. Many friends have stood by me all this while, and we are still walking on side by side in this long journey through Life. :) Thank you so much, pals!


"You only live once. Make it a worthwhile one..."